The Grind - and a whine about being a grownup

This is one of those days where I can't be sure that my desire for a career change is for the right reason. When pressed, I'll say that what I really would like to do for a living is Worship Ministry. (2nd choice, studio musician.) But today, I just don't want to do what I've been doing in Software Development anymore. The grind is unreal. They would take my soul if I would give it to them.

I still get a charge out of programming. I do not get any charge at all from the business world. It pays the bills. It allows our family to have and to do things. My heart wrestles with that, because I feel that I am addicted to my lifestyle. Going into Worship Ministry would likely require (at least) a 50% cut in pay, with the question of whether or not health insurance would be paid. Since my wife stays home with the kids, and especially since we are a homeschool family, that would be hard to absorb. We felt (feel) called by God to homeschool.

Ugh - sometimes it is REALLY HARD to be a grownup!