In need of ZOE - or... SOMETHING!!!
Later this week I will be going to Nashville for the annual ZOE Worship Conference. More than earlier years, I am feeling the need for this conference. I need the worship renewal. I need to experience the freedom that I will have there. I need to touch base with friends and people I don't know who share (at least some of) my desires and goals for worship. I need a renewal of hope for this tribe - I am in a very frustrated place right now. It's very hard to explain (especially to a non-CoC person), but my ongoing struggle with what I am and am not "allowed" to do to glorify God has me in a valley - again. I desperately want to lead my family into a life of genuine service and offering. I deeply believe that much of the teaching of my tribe is in conflict with that goal - at least for me, and perhaps (probably) for my daughters as well. The inner conflict I feel is profound.
I hate feeling this way, yet I wonder if this discontent has a higher purpose. Change may be in the air...
To my loyal blog readership - all 2 of you - How have your "desert and wilderness" times impacted your walk? Was it EVER easy to wait?
I hate feeling this way, yet I wonder if this discontent has a higher purpose. Change may be in the air...
To my loyal blog readership - all 2 of you - How have your "desert and wilderness" times impacted your walk? Was it EVER easy to wait?
posted by MichaelPolutta at 8:05 AM
2 Comments:
I'm sorry that I won't be with you this year at the worship conference - my first non-attendance in about 8 years...
My daughter, Beth, gets all the fun these days as she travels and is able to take in these "high water marks" all over the country. She'll be one of the presenters at the conference re: Children's Ministry.
It's interesting that - obviously I would love to be there; our schedule conflict is purely circumstantial. Yet, I'm not grieving it as I would have in years past, now having the freedom to exercize heart-felt worship week after week.
This year's conference would be more of a continuation - rather than a 'stake in the ground' of worship renewal. GracePointe is most definitely softening the blow of not being able to attend.
And for that, we praise El Shaddai - our God Almighty.
We know several who have sanctified this time to be at the conference -- and we pray earnestly that hearts, minds, and souls be powerfully affected for the growth of His kingdom. May God bless and keep you as you encounter Him this weekend.
Jon,
Fair questions.
Why am I there - well, heritage is one reason (I a "lifer"). Another is that what BH is and what it was 5 years ago (when we arrived) are a bit different. If you haven't been able to pick it up, there was a "split" earlier this year, and many of the like-minded folks ("progressives") are no longer there, including the minister. What there is NO WAY you could have known - I was away from the CoC about 10 years ago, attending a Community Church. It may or may not surprise you that this was a HUGE issue for my parents - I was doomed to hell as far as they knew.
Therefore we (my family) are measuring carefully the cost of going through that again. My wife and I have not been "on the same page" relative to this topic either - which has also been difficult. That is beginning to change.
While I'm a little bit sorry that you have perceived me as a complainer, the truth is that I have used this outlet to release some difficult thoughts and feelings. Certainly, without more context, I would have interpreted things as you have. I hope this helps explain things, at least a little.
My feelings have changed because BH has changed, though subtly to the outside eye (except for the preacher change). I have always felt as I do regarding worship and liberty - as long as I can remember, anyway - which puts me as a bit of a "radical" within the Southeastern CoC.
I have no idea how many folks from my church read this blog. Only one or two have ever said anything, let alone left a comment.
Blessings to you and yours in the islands!
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