Non-typical post-camp entry
Last week was SuperWeek - PBC First Week 2009. We had a fantastic week. What a blessing to be a part of it and see it continue to evolve under new leadership.
My usual thought process in the week after camp has been that last week I was doing things of long-term significance, and this week, not so much. That is not my mindset this year. I think a lot of this change is due to my reduced role in the week. The weeks where I was Worship Director were some of the most enjoyable weeks for me. This week was good, but was not the spiritual high for me that it has been in the past. I'd prefer to be able to explain the difference, but I'm just not sure what it is.
My biggest contribution last week was probably the Samson skit. I hope the Friday morning chapel talk was of some value as well. I sang bass on the Praise Team for most of the week.
Perhaps the root issue here is pride. I have always been proud of our week of camp, and proud of my role in it. I think it isn't as much "our" week as it once was. With intent and purpose the "older generation" (*my* generation) has worked to hand off SuperWeek to another generation - and they're doing very well with it. But I must admit that I miss being involved in the planning and being involved at a deeper level in the execution of the week. I'm looking for my next role at SuperWeek. I don't think I'm ready to slip completely into the background - ego-wise, I certainly want to think I have other value to add than a completely background role. I'm pretty sure I need to humble myself and just be used as needed. I *am* working toward my dreams of improving the camp facilities, but that is several years away.
I was especially pleased this year that we had a larger Burnt Hickory contingent at PBC. I hope it grows each year.
I suppose that's enough for now. Lunch break is over - back to work!
My usual thought process in the week after camp has been that last week I was doing things of long-term significance, and this week, not so much. That is not my mindset this year. I think a lot of this change is due to my reduced role in the week. The weeks where I was Worship Director were some of the most enjoyable weeks for me. This week was good, but was not the spiritual high for me that it has been in the past. I'd prefer to be able to explain the difference, but I'm just not sure what it is.
My biggest contribution last week was probably the Samson skit. I hope the Friday morning chapel talk was of some value as well. I sang bass on the Praise Team for most of the week.
Perhaps the root issue here is pride. I have always been proud of our week of camp, and proud of my role in it. I think it isn't as much "our" week as it once was. With intent and purpose the "older generation" (*my* generation) has worked to hand off SuperWeek to another generation - and they're doing very well with it. But I must admit that I miss being involved in the planning and being involved at a deeper level in the execution of the week. I'm looking for my next role at SuperWeek. I don't think I'm ready to slip completely into the background - ego-wise, I certainly want to think I have other value to add than a completely background role. I'm pretty sure I need to humble myself and just be used as needed. I *am* working toward my dreams of improving the camp facilities, but that is several years away.
I was especially pleased this year that we had a larger Burnt Hickory contingent at PBC. I hope it grows each year.
I suppose that's enough for now. Lunch break is over - back to work!
posted by MichaelPolutta at 11:17 AM
4 Comments:
I understand completely. It was very tough to go from being an assistant director of one week to a dishwasher for Superweek years later. As you mentioned, for me, it was an ego issue.
Yet, there's a beauty in doing the non-glorious grunt work. There's also something to be said for putting younger staff members in positions where they can create relationships with the campers.
Slightly changing subjects, I don't think any position has changed more than "Worship Director" in the past ten or twenty years. Twenty years ago, there were "camp songs" that seemed to only be sung at camp... or the occasional youth rally. Now, most of the Superweek kids come from churches where they have praise teams, and worship ministers, and they're inundated with Christian music and contemporary songs. Thus, camp worship experiences are NOT much different than Sunday mornings at their local congregations. Same songs. Praise teams. It's all very similar to their norm... except that it's outdoors. I'd venture to say it's different because there are more young people singing... but often, I see the young people not singing... and the adults blaring away.
Worship experiences are just different these days. I think it's tougher to get that "spiritual high" you mentioned, through JUST worship experiences at camp. I'd be very interested to hear your thoughts on the evolution of camp worship.
far too long of a comment. sorry.
Phil, this was NOT too long of a comment. I appreciate your perspective very much. I also agree that "worship director" and camp worship in general is a lot different than it used to be.
One thing that I believe has hurt the worship at camp - and I may have mentioned this before - is the sound insulation in the Ark. Overall it is a net positive for PBC, but the singing has taken a real hit from that stuff. We used to be able to "raise the roof" with our singing. It seems like that coating is now a sound compressor - you can only get so loud when everyone is singing, but if everyone else is quiet enough you can hear (and understand!) one person speaking onstage at a near-normal volume. I would like to have some plywood louvers that could rotate up at the ceiling in the Ark. Turn them to be reflective (closed) when we want to be loud, turn them to open when we want the quieter effect.
All of this to say that the big thing that I feel is missing from camp worship is the sense of explosiveness we used to experience when we all raised our voices together. And I think this is due mostly to the change in the Ark itself.
I can understand your feelings, but at least everything you did do this year was done spectacularly. I appreciate being able to assume that you can pull off any role with great pizazz... and then being right about my assumption.
As for the worship, I think that you and Phil are both right. The insulation in the Ark does suck up the sound to a great degree, but I think that the kids are so used to singing those songs at other youth events (and possibly even at their home congregations) that singing at camp isn't as big of a deal. I, however, do NOT get to go to the different youth events, so the worship experience is a treat for me even WITH the insulation. I told Mike Darling the only thing I would change is to add some notes to the screen instead of having only the lyrics.
BTW, your lesson was very timely for me that Friday morning. I was right in the middle of a situation where I was giving excuses for something that I felt God wanted me to do. Way to make me feel convicted...
Phil's got a goode pointe. I remember the coolest disappointment I had @ camp: (dreamy harp music)
During a 2 year sabbatical, I began going to a church that had the spiritual intensity of my favorite week of PBC. There was a consistent (weekly) push toward growth that was also present. I still remember worship (singing, praying, etc.) being more intense & focused. I attribute much of the excitement to the life-volatility of a student. But there was still a level of honesty I BEGAN to have with my Creator. I won't discount the praise team or the worship environment, but I don't think those were key. I've often felt my most intense worship in private. Having come from a background where having a goode voice was a premium, SOMETIMES corporate worship gets in my way now. It's like being in rush hour traffic (misnomer). During that time, I remember thinking: If my worship life & life with Christ is so intense now, WAIT TIL CAMP!
I agree that the change in the Ark has caused the sound to seem a little dull. Not to mention, the youth seem more disinterested now. But if we attribute the seeming lower "high" to the fact that our churches are becoming "competition." Well, isn't that what we wanted? Didn't we all take some sort of silent pact to change the face of the church? Isn't that what the camp is built to support - Worship Experiences THROUGH life?
Y'see, I had always felt I was going back to the proverbial mountain top @ PBC. The difference that year: I had just come back to the Appalachians from the Rocky Mountains. They're higher, but they're also more jagged & raw. I've never stood on top of K2 or Mt. Everest, but I'm sure that once you've been there. well, you can't expect summating Mt. Mitchell to be the same... tho still great! I began to disconnect from the camp environment as a source for spiritual GROWTH. In my formative years, that was where I got the bulk of my spiritual mentoring. I think we can all agree: THAT SUCKS! My church experiences were sorely lacking.
What I'm trying to say: I can relate. I have come back remembering how my hand felt inside a specific glove. My favorite role in PBC was to build behind the scenes. It feels like my hand doesn't fit anymore. Okay, okay. Really, who can do the job better than me anyway? It seems someone can. That's humbling.
Now, camp feels foreign but familiar.
I've found new things. I am thoroughly pumped to know of PBC, to hear about what's going on, to know that it's still moving & growing. Still, it doesn't churn my butter like it used to.
I'm more interested in what's going on with my wife, family & folks in church. I can't be the Camp Pete for those folks. Here's the kicker: They like me anyway!
Now that I have a family, I can truly stand by my statement made in my youth: I will never miss a week of camp. If being @ camp means missing a week with my wife & daughter, I just don't miss camp that much.
Please do not hear accusation or nose-thumbing toward PBC. I am still very fond of those mountains. I compare EVERY camp to PBC. They're all lacking comparatively. Where MY spiritual walk seemed to be dependent upon camp & camp-like experiences, it's not anymore. It's refreshing, but sometimes a bit nostalgic when you remember back when.
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