Friday, July 25, 2008

An (in)auspicious anniversary, and other stuff

One year ago today I was waking up (like I actually slept!) in the CCU at Kennestone Hospital. I had 2 stents and LOTS of medications in my body. The various monitors that were hooked to me were concerned about various things throughout the night, but the diagnosis was very positive. Automatically having your blood pressure checked every 15 minutes does tend to interfere with any significant or meaningful sleep.

So yesterday, on the anniversary of my heart attack, I went out to run the same course where my MI started. It was, again, a lovely day. About 85 this time, with 50% humidity. The run was still not easy, but more from an emotional/psychological perspective this time. I stopped at the same bench to pray again - and not a very different prayer than a year ago - except to thank Him and to acknowledge that if I have ever found favor in His eyes it is only due to Jesus, because He sees me as washed and clean though I am far from clean on my own.

As I look back on the experience, several things jump out. The outpouring of love and support for my family was deeply moving and humbling. The beta-blocker-induced depression was simply inexpressibly nasty. I am so thankful to not be on that medication. I am very empathetic toward anyone suffering with depression. And "suffering" is absolutely the right term. It was also interesting (fascinating, even) to see the different ways my family dealt with my near demise.

I am still looking for how this experience will inform my ministry. I am thankful to have found CrossFit as my exercise regimen. It has allowed me to develop a level of fitness I have never experienced before, and especially it has allowed me to trust my body as I push myself harder than I ever have. I have never enjoyed (or dreaded!) workouts as much as I do these. But my wife quickly noticed changes in my body, and the changes continue. I have integrated specific exercise skills into my goals for the next year. I really like one of the Marine Corps sayings as it applies to exercise and fitness - "Pain is weakness leaving the body." Cool.

We had a good Polutta family vacation at Emerald Isle, NC. The house we stayed in was wonderful. The beach was... different. The slant to the sand was quite severe, so the waves traveled about 10 feet and just ended. Not a lot of fun to play in the ocean. I guess I'm spoiled by Charleston and the wide, flat beaches. However, the water was (surprisingly) a lovely blue-green color, not the muddy greenish brown of the Atlantic for most of the east coast. Except for the last day, when Cristobal was near, the weather was nearly perfect. Emerald Isle does need more and better restaurants, but this was a minor quibble. It was good to get away, and good to be with family. I love you all.

School starts again quite soon. Natalie is working hard to be ready. We wrestle especially with how best to prepare Lauren for the next phase - she needs to "step it up" a bit, so we're probably going to be pushing harder than she will like. Well, TOUGH! (wink, grin) Something about fire and refining comes to mind...

God bless you all. May each of you walk in His light.

2 Comments:

Blogger Tommy said...

Hey dude, so glad that you are still here with us! Love you!

10:30 PM  
Blogger Pete Goode said...

yup, glad you're still here.
=^D
pg

10:57 PM  

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