Who I am, what I do
My friend Becky has asked a VERY important, and very difficult, question. Let me start with a weaselly answer. I stated that my job is what I do, not who I am. It is likely true that this is an aspirational goal, rather than a realized truth in my life.
Nonetheless, I am about to face this head-on. The stock trading class I am in is intended to replace my current source of income (many times over!) such that I will not depend on my job for income. One warning that we received in the February class is that we need to plan for having a lot more time to fill. Many of the things we enjoy doing will lose some luster once we are free to do them as often as we like - it is the infrequency that helps keep the enjoyment level (and perception of "release") high. I have big dreams for what I will be able to help make happen - stated more clearly, I hope/plan to participate in a BIG way in what God has going on, in a different way than I have in the past. (If what I just said is not clear to you, I'm okay with that.)
That said, while I do receive some "validation as a person" from my work, the way my career has gone over the past several years has shown me that my identity MUST come from another source. I have been humbled, yet sustained, by how things have gone for me. I have also learned that I have allowed my career to happen, rather than developing and executing a plan for my career. I am now trying to develop a detailed plan for how to transition from my current career to trading for a living - and how the trading will develop and grow over time. This is new to me - planning for success! (isn't that sad...) Like I said, I have tended to let things happen and just try to take advantage of opportunities that came to me, rather than planning what I WANT to have happen and working toward that.
The moments where I find myself MOST enthused and fulfilled by what I'm doing are in the context of music. Whether leading worship or playing guitar (or, gasp!... BOTH AT THE SAME TIME!) I find my deepest joy vocationally/avocationally in this realm. Who knows, maybe I'll go to school for music once I am not dependent on a full-time job for income!
At the core, however - my identity is in my relationships. With my Lord, with my family, with friends, and yes, with co-workers. In the upper-right corner of this screen is a little blurb about me - I hope that this is from where I choose to take my identity.
It is tough being a grown-up!
Nonetheless, I am about to face this head-on. The stock trading class I am in is intended to replace my current source of income (many times over!) such that I will not depend on my job for income. One warning that we received in the February class is that we need to plan for having a lot more time to fill. Many of the things we enjoy doing will lose some luster once we are free to do them as often as we like - it is the infrequency that helps keep the enjoyment level (and perception of "release") high. I have big dreams for what I will be able to help make happen - stated more clearly, I hope/plan to participate in a BIG way in what God has going on, in a different way than I have in the past. (If what I just said is not clear to you, I'm okay with that.)
That said, while I do receive some "validation as a person" from my work, the way my career has gone over the past several years has shown me that my identity MUST come from another source. I have been humbled, yet sustained, by how things have gone for me. I have also learned that I have allowed my career to happen, rather than developing and executing a plan for my career. I am now trying to develop a detailed plan for how to transition from my current career to trading for a living - and how the trading will develop and grow over time. This is new to me - planning for success! (isn't that sad...) Like I said, I have tended to let things happen and just try to take advantage of opportunities that came to me, rather than planning what I WANT to have happen and working toward that.
The moments where I find myself MOST enthused and fulfilled by what I'm doing are in the context of music. Whether leading worship or playing guitar (or, gasp!... BOTH AT THE SAME TIME!) I find my deepest joy vocationally/avocationally in this realm. Who knows, maybe I'll go to school for music once I am not dependent on a full-time job for income!
At the core, however - my identity is in my relationships. With my Lord, with my family, with friends, and yes, with co-workers. In the upper-right corner of this screen is a little blurb about me - I hope that this is from where I choose to take my identity.
It is tough being a grown-up!
posted by MichaelPolutta at 8:02 AM
2 Comments:
When Tommy was in school, a counselor told him that it's not about "what you do" but "who you are". When he told me that it was really hard for me to understand that concept. It is still somewhat hard for me to get because to figure out who I am, I feel I have to look at the things I am doing.
I have also heard it said that it's not "who you are" but "WHOSE you are" (probably meaning God, but it could relate to others as well), so for me to figure out who I am I also have to look at my relationships with God and others.
However, I still think there is a core being inside each person that is their personality (their "soul" maybe?). I can define myself as "Tommy's wife," but I was a person before I knew Tommy and before I took on the job of being a "housewife". WHAT I do and WHOSE I am are important, but I think it goes even deeper than that. There are REASONS for the things that I do and the people I connect myself with, and I think that those reasons come from WHO I am.
You mentioned planning for success instead of letting things happen to you. I think that (doing things on purpose) is what people do when they have a clear view of what it is that they WANT and feel that they SHOULD be doing. If I don't know anything about myself, how would I know what to shape my life into purposefully? I would probably just go with the flow and let other people dictate what they think my life should be (though because as humans we are relational, we still need to take other people, especially spouses, obviously, into account when we decide what we should be doing). Anyway, the point is that if a person does not want life just to flow over them, they should make an effort to really know themselves so they will know what they want (which is probably want God would want them to tap into anyway because He made them that way), not that the Holy Spirit can't shape your life for you anyway, but I think that those of us who are introspective enough to think of these things are probably being called to look deeper.
That's what I think at the moment, anyway. :)
I think that one of the great blessings of life is to have a job that pays us to be who we are. If my school burned down tomorrow, I'd still be a teacher--at church, at camp, etc. When I think of you, it's never as computer guy or stock trader, or (soon!) billionaire philathropist, it's in the context of the music, and espeically the worship music. When we all get to heaven, I fully expect you to be leading choirs of angels in song.
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